I sold everything and moved across the world… Tips to make big dreams come true!
What a year 2019 was… A year of life changes! I got divorced. I cut ties with toxic people around me. I quit my job. I changed my name. I moved abroad from Poland to beautiful Budapest in Hungary. And after 6 months there I made a big life transformation again. I sold everything and moved across the world. New continent, a place I’ve never been before. No return ticket. But a vision of a dream life and a feeling that it was the time to take another step! And surprisingly, it was not only the right time… It was the last time to change the location before the corona crisis started! Today a life update, a word about following big dreams, and dealing with stress. And at the end… I finally reveal where I currently live!
A SPONTANEOUS CRAZY DECISION OR AN AWAKENING
The story about me suddenly deciding to move out of Budapest and start living on the other side of the world could be called crazy or magical. You pick! It’s a story about a woman who woke up one day, missed the sun, and decided to leave everything to follow the need for sunbeams every day. Spontaneously. Thinking: ‘It’s insane’. But feeling ‘It is right!’.
And it is also a story about a woman who was repeating for 30 years that she hates winter and one day she would live in a place that is warm and sunny throughout the year. After spending almost 30 years in Poland where she was born, she moved to Budapest in Hungary… What a choice! But there was a beautiful summer at that time so she didn’t realize that something was wrong. Until the weather changed. Then she realized her mistake. 3 days of cold weather and she woke up in a morning with a feeling that it was another winter coming and another time to complain about it! That day she bought a one-way ticket to the other side of the world.
A RECIPE FOR MAKING BIG DREAMS COME TRUE
I want to use my example to share with you how to make the biggest dreams come true. But be aware that it is also a recipe for waves of fears and mindfuck. I mean this feeling that your mind just blows and you don’t really get what is happening. It is a natural part of making life changes. So if you try to follow dreams that have the power to transform your life a lot, you order difficult emotions and the mindfuck as a bonus… That’s a part of the human survival instinct that thinks that what you already have in your life lets you stay alive. But a change could be dangerous! If you want to know more about this mechanism, watch a video where I explain how it works:
After three years of creating my dream life through big life transformations, I can tell you honestly that it doesn’t matter if you make a spontaneous decision, like me moving across the world… Or you follow a baby steps plan – as I did before, I mean when I wanted to start over but I had to get divorced, change my job, name, and cut a lot of ties… Just accept that the mindfuck and waves of fear will be a part of your experience!
The thing is making dreams come true is not easy. It needs you to be brave to make decisions and follow your vision no matter how safe you feel in your comfort zone. And it requires some self-discipline to move on step by step. No matter how difficult it is to handle the emotions!
It is a process of balancing between feeling excited and scared with some stops when you just don’t get what’s going on. How to handle it? Just make a decision and create a plan before you got scared! And then accept everything that happens inside you… When you don’t fight against emotions, they will come and go. Honor them because as a part of the survival instinct they try to protect you, but don’t believe in any doubts that they bring to your mind!
I prepared for you 10 tips about how to deal with fear when you try to make a big change in your life:
HOW TO AVOID PROCRASTINATION WHILE MAKING LIFE CHANGES
So I made an unexpected decision of moving across the world. On the same day, I bought the ticket for a flight in a month and a half. And I made a list of things to do before the flight. A lot of paperwork, and a big flea market to be able to pack all my stuff into two suitcases… I knew that it was better to do it sooner than later… Before I got more scared than excited!
And after a couple of days, I got scared so much that the mindfuck state of mind started. I felt like it was all not happening, but at the same time, I was following the preparation plan. My mind tried to make me procrastinate, but I had strict deadlines because I already bought the ticket… A plan with deadlines you can’t ignore is the best tip when you think about making a change in your life.
Procrastination is a tool your mind uses to stop you. It is a part of the survival instinct. But the more you procrastinate, the worse you feel, and you suffer from waves of guilt. It is like an inner conflict where you have thoughts like: ‘I have to do something but I can’t!’, ‘I should do it but there is a blockage in me’, isn’t it? So the way out is just to start doing something… No matter how much your mind screams: ‘Don’t do it!’ When you focus on the activity, all those thoughts disappear and it makes you feel relieved!
GRATITUDE PRACTICE AS A WAY TO CHANGE THE MINDSET
That month of preparation to move across the world was very difficult for me. Full of struggling with intense emotions, crazy mindfucks, sad goodbyes, excitement mixed with the fear of unknown because I picked the place I’ve never been before, I had no friends there… I was thinking that I wanted to explore the world without any limitations. I wanted to become a person who feels independent in a way that she can be happy everywhere without anyone. She can make friends and feel home everywhere. Like an excited child who plays the game of life!
I was gathering all the reflections thinking that it was a lesson of something important on the way to build my dream life. And every day I practiced gratitude, pointing out all the thoughts and events in order to find positive the reasons for them to happen. I believe that we all need to have dreams and visions, and follow them to feel happy. And life is about the journey, not destinations. A day after a day. A goal after a goal. Challenges, the satisfaction when we handle them, triumphs, and then new dreams to come true. And when we look at it as one journey where everything is connected to everything, the sense of meaning motivates us to move on and makes the difficult moments easier to handle.
Gratitude practice is something I do every day for years. It let me train my mind in noticing and honoring everything that can make me feel positive emotions. Especially when something difficult is happening in my life, a key to dealing with it is to find positive aspects of this event. And believe me as a victim of violence… It is possible to find a positive side of everything!
It is good to understand that negative feelings are much more intense than the positive ones. Their role is to trigger an immediate reaction of our body, like for example running away. So it is natural that at the end of a day we are filled with memories of the challenges we struggled with. Although it makes us stuck in negative thinking, and unhappy.
Positive emotions are subtle and easy to miss. That’s why we should train our minds in noticing and honoring them. Opening the space for positive emotions means giving them at least 10 seconds of attention. Then a memory has a chance to be created. And all the positive emotions have the power to make us feel ready for action, creative, and open for something new! The positive mindset is the key to dream and make dreams come true!
SELF-CARE ROUTINE TO DEAL WITH FEARS
It is natural that when life changes, we lose the feeling of safety and we experience waves of fears. It doesn’t matter it is about making a big dream come true or a life change that happens itself, like the coronavirus situation. This stress… it is a scream of the mind that there are important needs have not met, and it is necessary to find new ways to fulfill them in order to be back to the peace of mind. In other words, it is time to build a new self-care routine!
There are many different conceptions about human needs. I categorized them into 6 groups. Each of them fulfills the needs I found essential after coaching many women. It is emotional self-care that meets a need for attention, understanding, expression, and connection. Physical self-care concentrated on body well-being. Self-love and self-compassion that fulfill the need for love and empathy. Social life resonating with the need for belonging and communication. And personal development that fulfills the need for growth. What is important, just keeping the self-care routine meets the need for stability and safety that come from having a life structure!
It was challenging for me to build a new self-care routine when I moved across the world. I was grieving the one I had in Budapest but it wasn’t possible to have it there. It was connected to the places, people, and accessories in Hungary… The core was biking every morning along the Danube to meet a friend and eat breakfast together! So to handle my waves of fears and be back to my emotional balance, I was working on a completely new self-care routine. This time something I could take with myself everywhere! I did it, it made me feel much better, and it inspired me to create a workbook for you:
SO WHERE DO I LIVE NOW? WHAT WAS MY DREAM?
A continent I’ve never even visited before, a completely different culture, no friends, 15 000 kilometers to the place I always called ‘home’, but an island I always saw in my dreams… A place full of sun all year long, warm ocean, mysterious jungle… And a new beginning! Space to create amazing life feeling sunbeams on my skin every day 🙂 Everything I always had in my head when I was thinking about my dream life when I retire…!
But it happened to me much earlier because I realized that all we have is now, and I made a decision to do it. I said no to all the limiting beliefs I had in my head. I realized that most of them were not rational. For example, I thought that I need a lot of money to do this kind of step. But it is Asia, life here is much cheaper than anywhere else!
So now I live in Bali. In Indonesia. For how long I am going to be here? Don’t ask me. No idea. Until I feel that I want to be somewhere else and I will change my life following the dream in my heart!
Your turn! Tell me, what is the dream you would like to come true!